Praying for Rain

     Most of us are familiar with the story of Elijah and Mount Carmel. Something pretty spectacular happened on that mountain. God showed up and Baal did not. Of course, we as Christians knew that Baal would not show up…he’s not real. He was merely a god made by man. What is truly interesting is why the people of Israel and Elijah were even on Mount Carmel in the first place. Not so much as to the why all of the others were. (Yes, it is important but not the highlight at this particular moment.) They thought Elijah was about to pray for rain to return since the last time they had seen him. It was then that he had announced: “As the LORD God of Israel lives, in whose presence I stand, there will be no dew or rain during these years except by my command!” (I Kings 17:1 CSB). And you know what? There wasn’t. No rain for any purpose or for any person. No rain at all. Zilch, nothing, zero. Not even a mist!!  

     As human beings, we have experienced a drought before. I can’t recall one lasting for three and a half years like in the day of Elijah (James 5:17). That had to be hard for their very existence. We’ve had times when we were told to conserve our water usage. (Or maybe that was just from my momma as we were growing up?) I don’t remember ever being afraid of our water supply running out. Every time we turned on a water faucet we received the results expected...water! However, in Elijah’s day that particular fear was real. That need was quickly drying up. 

     Although I may not quite understand the need the Israelites had concerning rain and the need for water, I certainly understand feeling a personal drought. I imagine most people do. My soul has felt that before. I even imagined tumble-weeds rolling past me just like they did in the old west when they needed rain. You know those old movies. Right smack in the middle of town tumble-weeds would roll right on past them as they walked those dry dirty streets. Their clothes had to be filled with dusty dirt. Yep, I have felt that before. I was so desperate for spiritual rain. Little did I know that it was more than just God’s rain I needed. I likened His rain to His power. It is but it is more than that. It wasn’t so much His rain, His power, that I needed…it was God Himself. I needed His Holy Spirit so desperately to rain down on me. (You know what I mean?) His power was certainly a benefit to His very presence. I knew that I needed Him. Oh I wanted Him too but I needed Him because I wanted Him. (Does that make sense?) 

     The great thing about that is that God wanted me to want Him first. It would be then that He could satisfy my need for Him. It would be then that the rain would come…a good soaking rain at that! 

"In a little while, the sky grew dark with clouds and wind, and there was a downpour."

1 Kings 18:45a CSB

In awe of Him,

Vonda

When No One Is Looking ~ The War Between Strength and Weakness

We are at our most vulnerable when no one is looking. Left to ourselves two emotions can wage war with each other, both with the intent to win. One emotion walks in strength with the knowledge of knowing and believing to whom they belong. The other emotion, crumbled in fear, leaves walking at all seeming next to impossible.  

This is where I find myself, at war with two emotions.

There are times that certain situations can leave me feeling fearful. They can cripple me leaving me with no strength at all. Yet, there are also times that those same situations can strengthen me giving me courage I did not know I had. It sounds weird, I know, but it is true. When it comes to my husband’s well-being, my heart intends to be strong and sometimes it is. In fact, it can be surprisingly strong. Yet, there are times that my heart has no strength at all. Persevering seems impossible. Strength wants to prevail but weakness has become consuming. And then, the war begins…

Caring for a loved one can be hard, both physically and emotionally. It can feel as if it rips out your very heart. How do you handle it? How are you supposed to put on a brave face for them? Better yet, how are we supposed to live in this, our day to day, together? So many emotions begin to stir. Questioning your ability to do the right thing at that exact moment needed most leaves you crippled. It is not only doing the right thing but also being the right one to do it. I am not a physician. I do not work in the medical field of any form or fashion. Yet, I find myself playing the role of one. Can I do the right thing? Will I do the right thing? Am I the right one to do the right thing? What even is the right thing!? So many questions stir in my mind.

The hardest moments are the ones that cripple you. Sometimes I can put on a brave face and do what has to be done. Well, in fact, most of the time I can. However, when no one is looking is when I simply crumble. Feeling weak during a fight does not give me much hope for winning. I want to always stand tall and firmly say, “Not today, Satan!” The words just do not always come out. I want my foot so firmly planted that I cannot be knocked down. That is so what my heart desires. However, each time a new problem pops up without an explanation to it, I lose my footing. I see the pain and know there has to be an answer. Yet, one is not given. Tears flow uncontrollably and I cannot seem to find the strength to stop them. Honestly, at times I do not want to. I cannot lose control so I allow my tears to do so. If I lose control then what will happen? The last thing I want is for a loved one to feel any sort of responsibility, cause or blame for my tears. Do not get me wrong, I have found myself crumbled on the floor before … in a pool of snot and tears (I know gross, right?)! It does not happen often (thank You Lord!) but it still happens. After all, I am human. It is when I am alone and no one is looking that I allow myself the freedom to feel; no matter what that feeling may be. Convincing myself that “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13) because God’s Word says I can is not always believable. They can feel like mere empty words; words simply written on paper. My heart knows they are not yet it does not have the strength to convince my mind.   

Some days are really good days. In fact, most of them have been. (Maybe that is just a part of what makes the not-so-good days extra bad.) When those good days happen, is when I am at my strongest. I feel like I can conquer anything. I feel like I can do and be anything. A wound that needs attention? Bring it on! Extra care needed? Bring it on!  That is when I can emotionally stand and proclaim, “I CAN do all things through Christ who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13)! I love those days. I cherish those days. However, if not careful I can easily turn those moments into giving my own self the praise.  (OUCH!) It is God who gives me strength…never myself.

Granted, very few people see those moments in me. They are mostly reserved when no one is looking. Part of the reason, not all of it, is because I do not want Satan to see or hear it and come at me harder, stronger. I want to revel in those strong moments and enjoy them to their fullest! (Sounds wimpy, doesn’t it?) I suppose I allow fear to slip into the strong days in wondering how long they will last. I do not want to mislead you; I can live out some strength (from God) in front of people, too. I can stand firm and not waver in His Word and fully rely on it! I know beyond any doubt that it is His strength … not mine.

Sometimes I live the strong moments quietly because it is then that I “refuel” or better yet, store up extra “fuel”, so to speak. Strength and comfort found in God’s Word is what I need daily. His Word gives me strength to finish the task at hand. His Word comforts me by reminding me that I am never alone; He is with me all the way. His Word drowns out the little voices that desire for my attention to fear again. Yep, His Word is definitely my fuel. It's what will keep me going.

I know that trials are going to come the Bible says so. I know that everything happens for a reason; the Bible says that, too. I truly know and believe that. The hard part is that even though I know those things, it just does not stop the pain. It does not change what my eyes see. I see the pain of a loved one. I see the crippling effects on their body. I see those things! How am I supposed to un-see them? (Do you ever find yourself asking that question, too?)

Proverbs 3:5> “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.” (NKJV)

That is my answer. It’s neatly tucked inside God’s Word awaiting me to find and read it again. Over and over if necessary. It’s the fuel we need. His desire is for me, for us, to simply trust Him in the process. It can sure be hard. However, if you truly know and believe that God is indeed a good God, then we do not lean on our own understanding. Let’s be honest, our understanding is limited. We tend to have a need to see a bigger picture to understand difficult things. We don’t always get that privilege. God is all-knowing, we are not. Trusting the all-knowing God is our responsibility. Yet, we find it hard at times. Weird, isn’t it? We don’t find it hard to believe that He created the world. We know and believe that God sent His only Son to this earth to pay our sin-debt. We know and believe that He died a gruesome death, no heart beat or breath in His lungs, on a cross, and yet He defeated the grave. We truly believe these things. Somehow, believing that He has a plan for me, for us, seems too complicated to comprehend. Did not Jesus Himself say “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26)? Yes! He certainly did! He takes the hardest things to understand and makes it possible. We just aren’t guaranteed when we may understand.  

We have to learn to look beyond what our physical eyes can see. We have to see that “all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28) is for us, too. Suffering in this life is inevitable; how we suffer is a choice. “It is what it is” is not always true. It depends on how you look at it, what you choose to see…and believe.

It's okay to wage the war between strength and weakness. It’s even okay to do it when no one is looking. Cling to God and His holy Word and know that it is written: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter how difficult things become, He is with us. We are not alone…😊

Don’t forget to remember that!

In awe of Him,

~ Vonda

Seeing Beyond What Is

Romans 8:28> We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (HCSB)

     There were so many expectations for the year of 2019. I’d had plans without really having any in particular for the New Year. All I knew was that it would certainly be better. Don’t get me wrong, the year 2018 wasn’t disappointing, but I just knew that it could certainly be topped! Boy was it. It started out with a bang!

     The 2019 year began with the flu. (I know, yuck!) It also ended with it, too. There were things tucked in between as well. A “good” case of cellulitis landed me in the hospital for a few days (I thought it was an antibiotic rash.). I gathered from the doctor and nurses that “good” really did not mean that at all. Anything that lands you in the hospital rarely is. However, I did get a break in time before anything else would catch my attention. Looking back on that makes me grateful for a little more time.

     One afternoon coming home from work, I was involved in a car accident. It happened to me (not my fault) I did not cause it. Thankfully, the young girl involved and I both got out of our own cars. We both walked around and were able to speak. There were no broken bones and no bloody scene. I thank God for that! I will not dwell on what could have been I will praise Him for what was. She took a very big hit from her steering wheel and I took a very big hit from the back of my seat. There is no doubt she physically ended up with a few issues from it. I know I did, and am still dealing with them. That does not change the fact that God showed up in a mighty way!

      I had sat and cried over the way the year had been going so far. It had begun to take a toll on me mentally. I don’t think it was common knowledge. I think I hid it very well. (A few people knew, and I do mean a few.) A person can slap a smile on their face and even proclaim Jesus without ever allowing Him to be in their situation. At least for a time they can. However, when you truly know Jesus, His peace will begin to flood your very being. I knew better than to question Why me? The answer will always be, why not me! Yet, that is what I did…why me, Lord? The smile remained on my face even when it was the hardest but my heart was not always in it. I wanted to be the Christian that people saw as strong. I have learned that if they do not see you at your weakest at times too, then they find it hard to believe you can be real. We do not set out to deceive others intentionally but it is what sort of happens. No one wants to be real with someone that does not themselves appear to be.

     After using up all of my sick time and a majority of my vacation time at work, I really felt down in the dumps. I used those up halfway through the year. However, the closer 2019 came to an end, I began to see beyond what is. “It is what it is” is not always true. It depends on how you look at it, what you choose to see. I decided to sit back and take a different look. Not only did I want to see beyond what it is, I needed to as well.      

     Although having the flu in January, when you work for a propane company, is not the best time (well, having the flu never is!) it did allow me to rest from a crazy holiday season. It also allowed me time to appreciate my job more. Time spent in the hospital gave me an opportunity to meet a few people who worked there. Some were in the medical field and some were not. The conversations were priceless; even those late at night or extreme early morning conversations. I never imagined being able to laugh so hard when you are the one who is the patient!  

    I have to admit it had been my car accident that had played the biggest toll on me mentally, physically and yes, spiritually. I was able to get over the flu, both times, and bounced back from my stay in the hospital. However, the car accident issues were the ones that lasted the longest. They are still with me to a degree. This struggle has been the most real. This one I truly needed God to help me see how it could "work together for the good”. He knew I would and waited patiently for me to ask Him. (Isn’t God good? His timing is everything!)

     I ended up having to see a chiropractor. He was able to pinpoint an issue I was having. He was a miracle-worker for me! Through several months of visits, Raymond and I had gotten to know a few of them very well. I was learning the “all things work together for the good…” part and it was changing me. Meeting the people there was such a joy. They were like family to us. We shared sadness and joy, and even asked for prayer multiple times. I looked forward to every appointment! Raymond surely did not mind going with me. This group of people not only played a part of my physical well-being, they also played a part of my emotional, and spiritual well-being, too. My heart had definitely been affected. I was blessed by going there. Satan certainly did not know I would be; however, God sure did. He is such a good God!

     My last visit with the chiropractor was bitter-sweet. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye, yet I physically felt much better. I did not want to leave them. We all hugged and expressed how grateful we were that our paths had indeed crossed. I was certainly never going to forget them. Neither was Raymond. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it most. They each played an important role in my healing; not just physically either.

In awe of Him,

Vonda

      

    

 

I Am Not Alone

John 16:32> “Indeed, the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (NKJV)


     It has been hard for me to understand what it is like for those who are alone during this pandemic. I still am able to get up and go to work Monday thru Friday. I see my coworkers and the few customers that need to come by. I interact with people outside of my home. However, there are those right now who are unable to do so. Never did they imagine that confinement to their home would be a new way of life. The difficulty that I do feel during this time is the inability to see and hug my children and grandchildren. I may be able to see them, but certainly not in the way I would like to. I want to see them with my hands and arms!

     Our daughter and grandchildren came by the other day. What a joy it was to see them! At first, I was frustrated because it had to be different. I could not hug my daughter or granddaughters. (I am a hugger so that was a problem. I do not do so well with change.) We all sat outside with a good distance apart. I had not sat that far from anyone since elementary school. And that was because we thought they had cooties! (Does anybody remember the old saying: “circle, circle, dot, dot, now I have my cooties shot”? Oh the stuff we said as kids!) Now, I know no one had cooties at my house but that is exactly what it felt like! It totally frustrated me. I could feel anger welling up inside me because “it-is-what-it-is” was something that I did not like…at all! I knew they would soon be leaving; five o’clock was approaching. They were going back to their home and we would be staying at ours. There would be no staying over for dinner and no staying longer to watch a movie. There would be no last minute decision of getting to spend the night. (Did I tell you that I do not like change? UGH!!)

     It was not until they left that I realized just how blessed we were. So many people have not been able just to see loved ones at all. At least we got to, even from six feet away. I needed to count my blessings.

     Although we may not have realized that it would get to this point of being alone, Jesus knew that He would. It did not come as a surprise to Him. There was no pandemic, no COVID-19 lurking around the corner to take His life. He knew there would come a time that He would stand alone before men who were eagerly searching for a reason to take His life. Yet, He also knew He would not be alone. The Father would be with Him.


John 16:32> “Indeed, the hour is coming, yes, has now come, that you will be scattered, each to his own, and will leave Me alone. And yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.” (NKJV)


     During this unsettling time, let us remember that we, too, are not alone. The Father is with us, as well.



In awe of Him,

Vonda

An Example from the Wise Men

Every year, the focus of Christmas changes for me, it has a deeper meaning. I love that! It means God’s Word is not old and worn out. It means there is always something new found in the same verses we read every Christmas.  This Christmas, God used the wise men to stir in my heart a much deeper meaning.



Matthew 2:1-2, 11> Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying “Where is He who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw His star when it rose and have come to worship Him.” … And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and they fell down and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered Him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. (ESV)  (I have capitalized the first letter in any name pertaining to Jesus.)



I always found a reason to give gifts in these verses. The Wise Men were my example. After all, they presented gifts to Jesus. They went to Joseph and Mary’s with the intent to take gifts to Him. Isn’t that what we do? We travel to our family, or perhaps we are the ones who host, and give gifts? Most especially for the children. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with it. I personally find joy in that! However, this year the focus has shifted. I saw in the verses something different and for the very first time. It was what the Wise Men gave Jesus and where it came from that convicted me.



Following a star, the Wise Men traveled a long way to see the king of the Jews. They stopped in Jerusalem to ask for directions. Herod the king got those from the chief priests and scribes and gave them to the men. He told them to come back and let him know where the king of the Jews was so he, too, could go worship Him. (Well, we all know that was garbage. He had no intent of doing that!) So, off the Wise Men went to find Jesus.



Because they were seeking Him, they found Him (Jeremiah 29:13), with a star leading the way. When they saw where the star came to rest, they rejoiced! They had found Him. It is what they did next that got me: “they saw the child…and fell down and worshiped Him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered Him gifts…



Y’all, that absolutely gets me. After intentionally seeking Him, they found Him. Their intent had been to worship Him. They even told Herod that is what they were going to do. Being in the presence of Jesus could only make you worship Him. The Wise Men opened their treasures and offered their gifts to Him. The gifts given were valuable, costly. They knew that but never debated giving them to the king of the Jews. That, too, was intentional. That was the lesson for me. Have I opened my treasures and offered them to Jesus? What are my treasures? Jesus is pretty clear on what treasures are considered: ‘’For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21) OUCH!



The Wise Men gave Jesus gifts from their heart. After all, they were very wise men!



Where is your/my treasure this Christmas? Are you, am I, willing to offer it, them to Jesus?



In awe of Him,

~Vonda

The Sin of Neglect

My momma was a single parent. She worked a lot. Therefore, we were at home alone a lot. In the beginning, she told us what we needed to do around the house. Then it became what we had to do. After that, it was clear what was expected. There were consequences if we did not do what was expected. Those consequences were not fun. We had heard what she said, countless times, but we had stopped doing them. If the consequence did not come right away, we felt as if somehow we had gotten away with it. Well let me tell you that was far from the truth! We had not gotten away with anything; the consequences were simply delayed.



James 1:22> “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”



We tend to treat God the same way. We have lost the fact that He is our heavenly Father. You would think we would treat Him different because of that. We treat Him with the same, or sometimes less, respect than we do an earthly parent. Is it because our disobedience has not been dealt with right away? How many times do we have to be told? Absolutely, God is a God of love. His mercies are new every day. He is forgiving, He is compassionate, and I am so thankful for that. However, how long am I, are we, going to sit back and “hear” what He says and yet not do it? How long are we going to pretend there are no consequences?  None of us are perfect, His Word is very clear on that. However, it does not excuse us to sit back and do nothing. It does not excuse us to continue in our own sin…knowingly.



We misuse what Jesus meant in Matthew 22:39 when He said, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” He did not mean the kind of love that tickles your fancy; the kind that grants yourself everything you want. Some of those are fleshly desires that we should be at war with! We can mean well with loving our neighbor as ourselves, but if we are not careful, we can actually love them into hell. We are supposed to tell them, and show them by our actions, who Jesus is and what His Word says. If we do not, we are hearers of the word only and not doers. Folks, I am guilty! If I were in a courtroom right now and tried to plead my case, I would be found guilty. The idea of telling or showing a loved one what the Bible says is truth does not always appeal to me. Quite honestly, some of them simply do not want to hear it. What if they never speak to me again? What if they dread being around me? What if…? I should be more concerned about their soul than I am about their wanting to be around me. It is hard I do not deny that. However, isn’t their soul a lot more important? It should be.



We cannot just tell people about a loving God. We have to tell them about His Sovereignty, His meaning-what-He-says. We can tell someone what we will do if they do not do what they are asked or told to do. We can easily not follow through. God is not like that. He will do what He says He will do. That should make us tremble. (Hebrews 10:31> “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”) Do we, do I, believe that? We can all tend to rely on His love being the sappy kind of love that we have at times yet do not consider His love as a tough love, also. The love He has for us is a tough love. After all, He did give His only Son to die for us (John 3:16). That sounds like tough love to me, not the sappy kind.



When we know to do good and do not do it, it is called sin (James 4:17). It does not just mean the kind that are obvious (sexual immorality, drunkenness, debauchery, homosexuality, etc.), it also means the ones we know about yet others may not see. (Example: 1- not taking care of those in need when you have the means to do so. 2- not telling someone about Jesus when the Holy Spirit is nudging you to. 3- being honest on what His Word says when directly asked.) When we neglect (ignore or disregard) to do what we know we are to do it is sin. Ignoring or disregarding the truth does not change its meaning.



People, Christians included, do not like the word sin anymore. It makes them, us, sound bad. They would rather use the words mistake or accident. No doubt, a mistake can simply be that…a mistake! Even an accident can just be an accident, things that were not intended or on purpose. However, those words are often in use to cover up a known guilt or sin. Sometimes the phrase "life-style choice" will be in use to butter-up the word sin. We often hear the phrase, “This is who I am.” The truth is we can call it whatever we want to, or use it in any way we want to, to make us feel better. Nevertheless, what God calls it is what is important. That is the only thing that matters.



Just like my momma wanted us to do what we had heard her tell us to do, so does God. So y’all, let’s “be doers of the Word and not hearers only”, the lost are depending on us … so is God.




In awe of Him,

Vonda

Monday Meditation ~ When Troubles Come

Happy Monday!

Here we are in the last week of October. Another month has come and gone. They seem to be going by faster now that I am older. Time is just slipping on by. A lot has happened this month. Some things have been really good; some things have been just okay, and some, well not so good. I was caught unaware, but God surely wasn’t. I find comfort in that. The troubles we face in life have purpose. Knowing that should give us joy. That means they’re not random. That means there’s something greater that will come from them. (That gives me goosebumps!)

James 1:2-3> “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your *endurance has a chance to grow.” (NLT)  (*Note: patience, perseverance, steadfastness)

Endurance. Patience. Perseverance. Steadfastness. Something we as Christians need, however, we’re just not very keen on how we get it. At least I’m not. It’s hard to comprehend how an opportunity for joy can come from trouble. Yet it does. For years, I pretended to have joy during hard times simply because God’s Word said to. Therefore, I manufactured my own joy. I said I had it when I really didn’t. The outside looked joyful. I even spoke joyful words. However, on the inside, where it really mattered, my joy was fake. I thought if I pretended hard enough that real joy would come. It did not. Why in the world would I consider that an opportunity for joy would come from troubles? Furthermore, how was I supposed to do that? It didn’t make any sense to me at all. I had missed what the reason was.

Troubles and trials will come. That’s a given. The interesting thing about them is that God uses them to help us grow. That’s the opposite reason of why Satan uses them. He uses them to capture us, enslave us and to destroy us. Not God! Nope, He does what seems crazy to the world. He uses troubles and trials as a means to set us free. They grow us to be more like Him. If I don’t learn how to endure, to be patient, to persevere, or to be steadfast then I won’t make it during those challenging times. Clinging to the knowledge of knowing that Jesus is with me, walking with me, and standing beside me in whatever “furnace” I may face should give me joy. You know what? It does. It even makes me smile. That was not the result Satan was hoping to get. Way to go God!

In those difficult times, stop and praise God for loving you enough to help you grow. “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.” (Why should I do that?) “For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.”  

In awe of Him,
Vonda